"cut-copy-paste"-i liked it

Today I feel hollow again. Last night as I was driving back from Nicky's I barely could drive straight, half drunk, half asleep. Tired, exhausted physically and emotionally. I just had one wish at that time of the night as I listened to the most amazing love songs driving by the SF Ocean....I just wished I really was back in Ibiza...where I was driving late at night very tired but I knew I was going to David's place where so beautiful so lonely so peaceful....I knew all I wanted to do was just lie down next to him in the dark and everything will be fine with me. That would be the most comfortable thing in the world and so I wished the next Exit was the roundabout of Portinatx and St Eulalia...Why wasn't it? Is it so bad to not get what you so badly want? Am I infatuated or am I in love? I am feeling so hollow, my heart feels so weird....I thought I was ok last week and again this comes up on me...I cant stop thinking about him...Am I going crazy, or I am pmsing regardless...What Mylinh said is it really all true? Yes my well being is more important than anything? But am I going back to Europe subconsciously because of him? I dont think so? Ibiza yes but not other places....I love him. I long to be with you DAvid...I wish you could see how much I want to be with you. Just how much...my heart aches for you my love.....I want you in my life forever....but I am asking for too much ...maybe just the impossible.....why? Am I not self content? Why Why Why am I doing this to myself? Why I travelled? Why I met so many men? When will I get over David? I know I will eventually well actually I dont know but there is always someone better but truly I dont know...I have just never met anyone like him. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....I wish he could just show up through the computer, the door, the window or I was in his room with h im next to him holding him tight in his room...thats all I want in this whole wide world......haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaye Rabbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbba!!