25 Jan '13
yesterday.... after two drinks... i had a long conversation with farhat. which.. is an irregular occurrence of its own kind... here's why.. cause on most of such nights.... we indulge in our classic arguments.. which are just meaningless... and i'm in my infamous bulldozing-mode. but!..... last nite.. there came a moment that we did connect... finally.... in the realms of a 'relationship'. we both accepted... how... its not there. the love.. connection... feelings.. and bonding... is not there. i cant stretch this imaginary relationship.... and he cant play complimentary in it... i cant (in my day avatar) explain how comforting this defeat felt. i cried... (and i still feel riled up) but these tears are of comfort... unlike.. all the time else when i shed the tears of anger.. every now and then.
crying was never a do-it-alone activity for me.. but now it is... it is.. cause... no one will ever understand what i had with farhat. and not because it was something great... but.. because it was not great. it was basic. it was earthy. it was friendship. the first relationship that an individual identifies. (m a non-believer of families)
everything said and done... it was such a relief... to say what i really felt.
crying was never a do-it-alone activity for me.. but now it is... it is.. cause... no one will ever understand what i had with farhat. and not because it was something great... but.. because it was not great. it was basic. it was earthy. it was friendship. the first relationship that an individual identifies. (m a non-believer of families)
everything said and done... it was such a relief... to say what i really felt.
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