Yeah. . Must sleep now. And this is so not the time to write right now. But anyways. . Few things have been lingerin in my head n i have to get it out.
How come i find it easier to hate my mom. . Why cant i jus simply hate piyush. . Haan. . . . :(
i dunno. Feel so helpless. . (eeau! My t shirt still has holi-eggs smell. . Holi- the festival of colors)
Phh. . Anyways. So. . I feel so helpless. Cause strangely i still feel that i can make his life a lot more beautiful. . But apparently. . Its jus another opinion. There's unfortunately. . No scale that could measure the depth of my feeling. No way i could justify to anybody. Not even piyush now. . :(
may b. . M jus not yet a good enough lover that somebody would accept my love. May b. . M gonna end up becomin a pretentious princess of some bloody hypocrite guy that my mama-maami will choose for me. Think of the distress this will potentially bring. People, who're surely the farthest from my understanding will royally decide my future. . That'll b, m pretty sure, as screwed as it'll b. Huh. . . :'(
i could still run n hide somewhere. . But i don wanna go that way. I wanna b in love exactly the way i was. Pretty darn exactly. . Dot exactly how i was. :( :( Phh. . :( :( :(
i clearly know how this wud work out. . Clearer than anythin else i know on earth. But. . . . . . . It wont jus happen to me :'( . . . . .
I've no way to go now. . Cant believe m sayin this today. But. . For the second time. . . This will b my chosen limit. If i go beyond it. . I'll hinder his worthiness. And i'd never do that.
Hmm. .
Song courtesy: tujhme rab dikhta hai. .
. . Bye
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