Felt so blank and dead today while smoking. . Not even worried. Like. . All the times before this. . I was still upset cause i had no energy to fight for my happiness.
M not feelin good :( but m feelin proud for being able to handle this. . Its a negative feeling. I've never wanted myself to b like this. . But this is the need to survive.
Piyush will probably get through with this as his intoxication goes down tonight. . His one and a half year long hangover of me will come to an end. M not thinkin of him. M only thinkin bout our love. .
Lukin back, m tryin to recollect what that moment was, when i stopped believing in him. Why is it such a big deal now when he has stopped believing in me. . May b its not an incident. . Its a realisation. It wasnt meant to b so easy this way. . V are 2 different people. . Distance. . phase of life. . Surroundings. . When all of this differ as well, nobody can b blamed.
The Second Light Post: after the one in dell. . Yes, it is my life's second. (;) whatever that can possibly mean). Yesterday, the flickering light of that pole was teasing my eyes. . From a perfect angle. When i tried to catch it. . It kept me mesmerised for quite some time. I was listenin to 'our playlist'. I wondered how could a bulb do that. . Everytime i was able to catch some direct lite from behind the leaves of wind for a stretch of seconds. . Everythin else seemed so dark and gloomy. . And between the noise of traffic and the busy street below my balcony. . I felt being special. It seemed like magic.
V all are jus another regular people. . But sometimes. .somethings happen. . Somethings that v want somebody to do for us. . Somethings that v know will makes us feel special. . And it happens. . For everyone. . One day. Some people say 'god was smiling at you' some say 'good deeds paying back'. . . I wanna call it 'magic'. The word is simple and easy to spell n say. All it takes is that u believe in magic. . And suddenly everythin feels right and beautiful. The flickering of light only depended on the weather. . Velocity and direction of the wind. . Degree of freedom of the leaves in between the direct path of the light into my eyes with respect to their branch and each other. . And bla bla. . Yet focusing just on the light for few seconds and appreciating how bright and beautiful it was. . It lift my mood a little. Made me feel satisfied bout. . . whatever is happenin. . Is all but fair.
The belief in magic is what makes magic special.
One has to keep believing in order to protect the magic.
Me n piyush lost our magic :(
i'll never loose mine :'(
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